Why does that word just seem so foreign to me? I have been out on dates over the years but nothing serious. I can usually tell pretty quickly if I am interested in someone or not. Its exhausting for one thing. I mean getting dressed up and looking cute is easy. But finding someone you actually want to listen to is another. Does that make me selfish? (cause I totally am not) I don’t need to be with anyone. I am perfectly fine on my own. So when I meet or date anyone, I am able to just go with my gut feeling and move on.
Physical chemistry is a must. Someone that can keep up with me, challenge me, teach me new things is a must. I need to be able to respect the person I am with, so be polite . I don’t want to be doing intellectual circles around the guys head either. I also don’t want to feel like I always have to talk to him. Sometimes that unspoken silence and understanding is the best way to communicate. Daily communication is 93% non-verbal. It is crazy to think about but it is so true! (Albert Mehrabian published a book Silent Messages, in which he discussed his research on non-verbal communication) I am not saying that I want a mute either. Just someone you feel comfortable with when its quiet. Don’t date if you’re not happy. You can only make yourself happy, so figure out what you need to do to fix that. I’m finally at the point where I will not settle. I did that once in my life and I promised myself I would never do that again. I would rather be a nun then settle 🙂 (no offense to any nuns out there.. you are awesome) I don’t care about how much money he makes or what car he drives.. I just would like to meet a good person I connect with, is that so much to ask?
I still think that there is one person for everyone. Is that naive? How to find that person just seems impossible. We have apps and websites out there too. It’s too bad you can’t just send a signal out into the universe so he knows you’re ready. What happened to a man seeing a women or a women seeing a man and asking them out to lunch or dinner? What is so hard about that? We all live in our own little bubbles hiding from the fact that we are all searching for the next best thing. Doesn’t that get exhausting?
Okay, so tell me how a single parent is supposed to make time for this someone? I hardly have time for myself. I am lucky that my family and friends let me get away every week but when I am away from my kids I just want to be with them, doing what they’re doing. They are only going to be this cute and sweet for a short time and then they will all grow up and hate me and I’ll be old 😉 lets hope that doesn’t happen but you know what I am saying. I have been told to not focus on the physical aspect and just be with someone thats nice. To me thats settling. Nope, can’t do it. I am waiting for the right person.
One thing that I love about my kids is that they help filter out all the bad ones. (men that don’t have good intensions) I am an open book and some people can’t handle it. Most love me for it cause it makes me extra funny at times. Ask me anything, I will tell you. I feel because I only tell the truth, I don’t have to remember anything. I just have to tell you what I know.
If you feel threatened by a mothers love for her children, move along. If you think she is going out with you to find someone to rescue her and take care of all her worries, get over yourself. She already did that. (and don’t date women like that- she is settling and using you) If you date a single mother or father.. don’t get involved with the kiddos unless you plan on being a true friend and sticking around.
My only hope for anyone reading this, that can relate. Believe in yourself. Put your child(s) needs first. Love yourself. Take a chance. Don’t let the past follow you like a dark cloud over your head. You have made it this far, so let it all go and trust your gut. Don’t settle. Find that person that makes you feel loved. That’s all you have to do.